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This is a quick 12-minute talk addressing how to prepare children for back-to-school.  My son is going into first grade, and during last school year I was able to apply a lot of my Child Life skills to him.  I want to share with you how you can help your child (and yourself!) get ready for the next school year, especially in light of all the unknowns.

In this episode, I talk about…

[1:43] Start slowly back into your routine

Jumping from no schedule to completely regimented can be harsh on the system.  You don’t have to go right into waking up at 6AM every day, but you should ease into the routine of waking up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing your teeth. Whatever the expectations will be when school begins, you want to gradually introduce those elements.  

[2:52] The importance of preparation

If you are going through a situation where you don’t have a back-to-school night, you cannot enter the school prior to going, or you’re going to do virtual school or homeschool, it is important to orient your child to what the schedule is going to be like.

You can go over the sensory experiences they will encounter and the anticipated sequence of events that will happen on the way out the door. This routine will enable you all to make sure your children have everything they need for the day.  You can really engage them in the conversation.  Rather than telling them exactly what is going to happen, get them involved and keep them up-to-date as a partner in this situation.  They are the ones having to implement these routines, so we want to keep them intrinsically motivated.  

Preparing for separation from you is a hug part of back-to-school season.  You don’t want it to be a shock, so start talking to them about how you will say goodbye (a kiss, a hug, or both?).  Remind them that these routines can change, but you will want to have a plan in place before the first day of school.  Some kids are going to struggle with separation, especially in this climat where we have spent so much time with our families.

[5:00] Focusing on the new positive relationships they will build

Be sure to talk up the new relationships they are going to create with their new teacher, the principal, the guidance counselor, other children, and anyone else you know they are likely to meet.  Introduce the idea of cultivating these positive relationships.  IN addition, the most important relationship you can introduce is the one they have with themselves.  Trusting themselves in a new situation is huge when it comes to building confidence.

[6:02] Guiding the conversation toward what works best for your child

I know I’m giving you a lot to think about, and it sounds like a lot of work upfront.  We often think kids are resilient, so we should just be able to drop them off at the front door of the school.  Some kids can totally handle that and adapt in a new situation, while others cannot.  As you’re considering my advice, I want you to know that you can guide the conversation toward what you believe will work best for your child.

It is a lot of work upfront to give them the best opportunities.  That is a lot of responsibility for any parent, and if your child has some sort of medical or chronic illness, you have even more to worry about.  

[8:54] Supporting your child when you aren’t with them

When they go to school, you can’t be near your children all the time.  This is when you really need to start to trust your children and encourage them to trust themselves.  Instilling confidence, sharing stories about how you handled new experiences in the past, and empowering them to accept support from trusted adults in a new situation are all important support strategies.

[9:31] The follow-up once they get home from school

This is where the processing and the magic happens when it comes to helping your children gain confidence in new situations.  I do not recommend jumping into an in-depth conversation right when they get home from school, because I promise you will not get the answers or the conversations you’re hoping for.  When the stakes are low and you are able to have an open conversation, open up a discussion about what is working and not working when it comes to their routines.  Encourage your children to be part of these conversations, because you’re going to get more out of it and they are going to be way more effective.

My friends, thank you so much for being here.  I’d love any tips and tricks, especially from teachers and other parents who have been in the school system for a while.  We’re all in these unknown times, and so the more advice, support, and conversations we can share around this topic is really going to help our kids and ourselves in the long run.

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